Live a Fulfilling Life
The fundamental purpose of 1000 Days Sober, is not to help you become someone that doesn't drink alcohol. In essence, it's to help you to develop the inner strength, tools, wisdom and relational literacy to live a fulfilling life.
Our actions must support our fundamental purpose, including our decision to be someone that doesn't drink alcohol.
Life begins when we're born, and ends when we die, as does our pursuit of this fundamental purpose.
Think of Life as a Game
There is a fabulous Pixar movie called 'Inside-Out' that focuses on the topic of emotions. The primary characters are the core emotions of Joy, Sadness, Fear, Anger and Disgust, and each of them lives inside the mind of a teenage girl, Riley.
Of the five feelings, Joy is the one that takes command of Riley's reactions most commonly; a reminder that at the core of what it means to be human is this fun, loving, joyful spirit.
Committing to 1000 days sober is a marathon, but that doesn't mean it has to be an arduous slog. Strivers and Strivers-to-be must think of life as a game, in which each obstacle, including Resistance and Alcoholism, is a puzzle that you need to solve.
Each time you solve a puzzle, you improve an area of your life.
Evolution should be fun.
Our Dreams Are at the Heart of a Fulfilling Life
Dreams are great.
Reality is better.
At 1000 Days Sober, our primary goal is to work together to identify our dreams. Then, leaning on realism, and cultivating passion and perseverance (grit), we turn these dreams into a fulfilling life.
Dreams + Reality + Grit = A Fulfilling Life
The Hierarchy of Values Steer Your Decisions
A principle function of Alcoholism is to change the hierarchical structure of our values, placing more emphasis on those aspects of our personality that are more aligned with self-interest, not an outward expression of loving-kindness.
At 1000 Days Sober, we become aware of how our values system operates, its impingement upon our lives, and those that step into our orbit.
Using that awareness, we focus attention on the core values that will serve our mission to be someone that doesn't drink alcohol and leads a fulfilled life. Then we cycle through the process of repetition with reflection and refinement, ensuring the fluidity of our behaviour matches our needs, the needs of others and our environment.
Alcoholism is an Invisible, Violent and Dominant Belief System
At the heart of 1000 Days Sober is a more empowering philosophy on the structural composition of Alcoholism. The decision to drink alcohol follows a well-worn path. First, there are secondary reasons that we drink alcohol (I like the taste; it helps improve social situations). There are the primary reasons often linked to traumatic experiences and core beliefs (I am not good enough), then there is the fundamental reason that we drink. To become a Striver, and live a fulfilled life, we must focus on the fundamental reason we drink alcohol; then the other dominoes will fall.
The fundamental reason we drink alcohol is that since birth, the world and its constructs and systems have conspired to create a belief that drinking alcohol is 'normal' and 'pleasurable.' As long as we continue to invest faith in this belief, we nullify all other perspectives, thus strengthening the belief system.
1000 Days Sober helps you lessen the faith in that belief system, and transfer it to a new and more empowering one: "Alcoholism is an Invisible, Violent and Dominant Belief System".
It's violent, because, annually, there are more than 3 million alcohol-related deaths (more than war, murder and terrorism combined). And it's a contributory factor in more than 200 illnesses and diseases.
It's dominant because more adults on this earth have tried alcohol than not. In the regions that we do the most work, Strivers always belong in the non-dominant group when analysing the alcohol consumption of our inner tribes.
It's invisible, because despite these facts, as a species, we continue to believe that drinking a potent poison that kills more than 3 million people per year is both 'normal' and 'pleasurable.'
Alcohol Provides You With Zero Value
Alcoholism's most cunning and clever trick is to convince you that alcohol is one of the most precious resources on the planet. When a pandemic hits, and you run to the store to grab the essentials before hunkering down in your home, alcohol is on that list.
If you believe that alcohol provides you with any aspect of value, then through the mechanism of addiction, you will feel an intense desire to drink alcohol when triggered by a particular set of stimuli. It's this belief in alcohol's value that keeps you hooked.
At 1000 Days Sober, we help you weaken the bonds of the belief that alcohol provides exceptional value, by helping you to switch your perspective from a short term lens to a long term one.
Once you peer through the long term lens, you can see the truth about alcohol - there is no value. Then by switching your faith from short term thinking to long term thinking, the value you once held steadfast starts to dissolve along with the desire to drink.
Work Effectively, Not Harder
Time is of the essence.
Our fundamental goal is a lofty one.
To give ourselves the best chance of success, we must choose effectiveness over busyness.
Being 'effective' increases your capacity for knowledge, understanding, and action - critical components for a fulfilling life.
Be Comfortable With Uncomfortableness
Alcoholism encourages inauthentic behaviour through the perversion of our values hierarchy. Over time, we lose our sense of self and purpose.
One of the primary goals of 1000 Days Sober is to build stores of courage and confidence in ourselves, so we can learn to practice radical honesty, internally and externally.
Through this practice of radical honesty, we slowly remove our masks, and drop our armour, revealing our sincerest most transparent form. Most of the perceived value we give to alcohol roots in uncomfortableness. This practice enables us to become comfortable with uncomfortableness. To sit with our thoughts and feelings without needing to numb.
Feel the Fear and do it Anyway
Fear is a core emotion.
We need fear to survive.
Alcoholism destroys your resilience in some areas and strengthens it in others. An area your resilience increases is the ability to feel comfortable with the pain and suffering caused by drinking.
The decision not to change comes from a place of fear. The pain of drinking may be incredibly challenging, but for many of us, that pain never rises through the temperature gauge in the same way that the thought of not drinking alcohol does.
The road to 1000 days sober is laden with fear.
We have to feel it and do it anyway.
Don't Let Feedback From Others Slow You Down
At 1000 Days Sober, the adage is true.
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me."
Alcoholism breeds a fixed mindset, and part of that mode of thinking is to prioritise the thoughts and beliefs of others over our own, particularly when it comes to your perceived ideas, or feedback, on what they think about you.
Being a Striver means leaving your seat in the dominant group, and taking a pew with the non-dominant. It's a fearful prospect, one that demands our focus on the fundamental vision of wanting to live a fulfilled life.
You cannot let the thoughts, feelings and actions of others stand in your way of becoming a Striver.
Initially, when you remove the mask, and drop the armour, being radically transparent feels awkward and uncomfortable. Through the act of repetition, the manipulation of faith, and the right support, it becomes not only more comfortable but a preferred behaviour.