Blog Posts From 1000 Days Sober
Thomas asks, “What will I do when I lose my friends once I stop drinking alcohol?”
Thomas has a paradigm that if he stops drinking alcohol, he will lose his friends. It would help him to understand that his paradigm here is nothing but an interesting point of view. It’s an assumption, not a statement of fact.
There are potential consequences in choosing this paradigm.
The energy typically associated with this pessimism is drama, or what we like to call in STRIVE, below the line behaviour. We believe this will happen, and so that’s the energy we will emit to the universe. We are telling the universe, “Hey, when I stop drinking, I am going to lose my friends.” The universe will make that happen.
We will become someone who is not likeable.
When I stopped drinking, I became more powerful, which fuelled my ego in an unhealthy way. I became judgmental, critical and condescending.
Why don’t these idiots get it?
Suddenly, I felt lonely, and I blamed everyone’s lack of awareness of the alcohol trap on my desolation, but in truth, I drove people away with my energy and my actions.
Imagine if Thomas changed his paradigm to, “When I stop drinking, I am going to create more deep and meaningful relationships with my friends, and find more who share my values.”
Now, everything changes.