Blog Posts From 1000 Days Sober
It's my turn to take Zia to bed, and as is standard, she wants her Mum.
Immediately, she triggers me.
"Here, we go again!"
I compose myself, get above the line, get down on her level (she is lying face down on the floor, crying), and I do everything I can in my armoury to connect.
She responds: "I don't like you! Go away!"
I am losing control.
Who am I kidding? I've never had control.
Because I can't 'fix this' by being present, my mind sends me on a nosedive into drama. I move into child chauvinism: my body posture, tone - entire demeanour changes. I contemplate threatening her. I go downstairs and tell Liza that I will implement a consequence if she doesn't get off the floor and brush her teeth.
"Give her some time." Says Liza.
I go back upstairs, and she is reading a book. I grab one from the bookcase and sit next to her.
She tells me to go away.
I go into the bedroom, start reading, and say, "let me know when you're ready to wash-up."
I keep reading.
Maybe a few minutes pass.
"I'm ready now, Dad.
As I help her brush her teeth, she says, "Daddy, I am so sad right now."
And I let her feel her sadness.
Parenting is tough, and it's one of the topics that 'The God Solution' author Neale Donald Walsch covers in the video below.
PS: If you want to watch the full interview with Neale, then follow this link.
PPS: If you want to learn how to connect with your children, then check out my new free guide, 'The Relationships Secret Bible: The Essence from 8 Relationship Advice Books That Will Change Your Life'.