The 1000 Days Sober Blog

Blog Posts From 1000 Days Sober

Judgments


My sweaty back itches against the roughed up wood of the garage door. The sun is tickling my toes — the rest of me, cool in the shade of the canopy. Headphones on, Sam Harris warbles into my ear in the way that only Sam Harris can. 
 
“Judgment is nothing but a thought.”
 
People feel safe on STRIVE because it’s non-judgmental. Like a town crier, minus the belly and the bell, I shout it, loud and proud through every tributary leading to our sanctuary. 
 
“STRIVERS will not judge you.”
 
A slight porky-pie.
 
STRIVERS will judge you. As Byron Katie once said, "We always judge people". 
 
After listening to Harris’ meditation, I took my daughter to her gym class where I placed my mind into the crosshairs of Harris’s assertion that judgments are nothing but thoughts, and judgments fell from into my mind like spiders from a farmyard barn. 
 
“That kid has issues.”
 
“Why is she on her phone?”
 
“That man is so zoned out.”
 
“Why the fuck would you tattoo your neck?”
 
Instead of polarising judgments as 'good' or 'bad', I want to suggest they lie on a spectrum. Sometimes, we lean too far towards cynicism and sarcasm; other times, we are victims of a downpour of thoughts that we don't control. 
 
Rather than lament our judgments, it’s wiser to raise awareness of them and investigate what our judgmental thinking might be trying to tell us. We learn our aspirations when we envy others, so too, we mine for the same gold in our judgments. 
 
“I hope my kid doesn’t have issues.”
 
“I am on my phone too much when I am with my children.”
 
“I am never present.”
 
“I wish I was brave enough to be different.”