Blog Posts From 1000 Days Sober
As a drinker, I had limited self-awareness. If the reverse were true, I would not have been a drinker. I could have asked myself vital questions, poked and prodded into the depths of my basement, attic - every goddam room in my psyche.
But I didn’t.
As Seth Godin says, “people like us do things like this.” That coupled with loneliness, confusion and fear is why I drank alcohol.
The palpable echo of my self-awareness also sounded in my emotions. As a child, my parents mirrored back to me (through the shouts and the shut-ups) that the healthy expression of emotions was a big no-no. It happened because my grandparents did the same to them.
The repression and dishonourable expression of emotions can run through generations like wildfire. Sometime, way back when, a cigarette flare caught fire, and here I am, today, screaming in my mind when my 4-year-old daughter enters a rage or fury.
Emotions are not 'bad'.
We were sold a lie.
Every single one of them is a superpower. Our role is to overcome the fear of feeling and to search for their gifts. Anger and the production of healthy boundaries, fear and the acute awareness of focus, clarity and intuition. Sadness and the water element of flow.
Emoting is self-awareness, and if you want to reduce or stop your drinking, then that’s the goal, right there.