Blog Posts From 1000 Days Sober
Thomas feels like an outsider in his family home. The children don't bother him, and his wife never talks to him. Thomas feels confused, lonely and alienated.
He tells me, "I don't know what to do?"
I tell him, "Sure, you do."
Thomas's wife wants him to stop cheating and partying, but Thomas doesn't believe he can. Of course, he is more than capable, but does he want to?
The big issue is scarcity.
Thomas thinks he is giving up incredible value by choosing his wife over his pursuit for other women. Still, if you stop looking at life through a monocle and instead extend to a pair of binoculars, he will see that the pursuit of women, the conquests, the sex - it all leaves him empty.
What fills him up?
Connection with his wife.
To get there, Thomas has to let go of the illusion that his Playboy lifestyle provides him with value. If it did, he wouldn't be speaking to me.
To overcome alienation in a relationship, you need to find the starting line, and to do that, you need to understand your race. For Thomas, his race is working with his wife to rebuild the trust and security dismantled by his meanderings.
He will have to give up everything and nothing simultaneously, and most people won't do that work.
Let's hope Thomas does.
'The God Solution' author, Neale Donald Walsch, believes 'alienation' is a keyword as we look at the state of the world today. Find out why and what we can do to overcome it by watching the video below.
PS: If you want to watch the full interview with Neale, then follow this link.
PPS: If you want to learn how to reconnect with someone, then check out my new free guide, 'The Relationships Secret Bible: The Essence from 8 Relationship Advice Books That Will Change Your Life'.