The 1000 Days Sober Blog

Blog Posts From 1000 Days Sober

How to Make Choices That Will Help You Stop Drinking

 If you’re considering making a significant change in your life, like altering your re...

Mar 24, 2022

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Effect And Cause

Yvonne is addicted to alcohol. Her relationship with her husband, Pete, is dead. There is no ...

Feb 10, 2022

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Are You Tired of Being Manipulated?

"Men often manipulated their women through physical and financial dominance and threat. Women oft...

Feb 07, 2022

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Do You Give Up Easily?

 Have you ever heard of an Upper Limit Problem (ULP)? If not, check out my interview wit...

Feb 04, 2022

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Throw Away Your Old Alcohol Beliefs!

I'm in pain. I'm suffering. A storm of locusts magnifies both because nobody else underst...

Feb 03, 2022

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Why It’s Not Enough to Just Stop Drinking Alcohol

When I became someone that doesn’t drink alcohol more than a decade ago, everything changed...

Feb 02, 2022

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Is Drinking Alcohol Necessary?

At STRIVE, we pride ourselves on being the place that unites people who no longer drink alcohol a...

Feb 01, 2022

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The Path of Least Resistance

Last night, during an event called ‘The Illuminated Man’, the host asked the guest sp...

Jan 31, 2022

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The Lion and The Mouse

I became someone that doesn’t drink alcohol after reading The Easyway to Control Alcohol by...

Jan 30, 2022

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Harry The Hummingbird

 When I woke up, the first person I thought of was my Mum. It’s my birthday, and it&rs...

Jan 29, 2022

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WandaVision, Choice & Alcohol

  The processing of shame is one of the primary reasons we don’t see more people join...

Jan 28, 2022

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I Want my Children to...

  I want my children to be honest, authentic, and grateful. I want them to support themselv...

Dec 10, 2021

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Who Else Wants to be Sad, Angry and a Tad Depressed?

Who Else Wants to be Sad, Angry and a Tad Depressed?   I saw this poster while having a wh...

Dec 09, 2021

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Alcohol Helps Me Sleep…Does It?

Alcohol Helps Me Sleep…Does It? Many of my clients believe alcohol helps them sleep. S...

Dec 04, 2021

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Handling Your Partners Blues


Long term relationships merge nervous systems. When your partner feels something, you feel it.&nb...

Dec 02, 2021

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They get drunk, have s3x, then pretend it never happened

I was reading Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel last night and wanted to share my thoughts/Esth...

Nov 30, 2021

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Diamonds

When my first wife asked for a divorce, a barrage of emotions hit me like a passenger seat airbag...

Nov 24, 2021

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The Fulcrum

The Fulcrum The symphony strings tug at my heart when I see a STRIVER stopping the work once ...

Nov 23, 2021

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The Profound Mirror

The Profound Mirror   In my review of my recent dental appointment, I was going to complai...

Oct 28, 2021

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To The Person Who Can’t Seem to Get Started

To The Person Who Can’t Seem to Get Started    On the eve of becoming someone t...

Oct 14, 2021

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4 Ways of Shifting From Drama to Consciousness

The STRIVE Method aims to help you find the power and unused resources WITHIN YOU because once yo...

Oct 06, 2021

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Sarcasm: A Medium Form of Anger

Sarcasm My queen is full of shrapnel.  We are slowly removing them, shard by shard, ...

Sep 01, 2021

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How to take a giant step towards controlling alcohol without taking...

  It only cost $50.  My wife, Liza, asked me to join her.  It was another...

May 21, 2021

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Why beginners struggle with alcohol cravings...

  I have this client.   Let's called him Julian.   Julian recently celebrated...

May 20, 2021

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I Didn't Have VD, Honest...

Did you know that there is a VD clinic in Ayia Napa?   Luckily there is, and even luckier,...

May 19, 2021

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How New Order Helped me Quit Alcohol

  I like New Order, who doesn’t right?   I love 'Blue Monday'.   But it...

May 19, 2021

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How to experience anxiety without reaching for the bottle

My daughter Zia’s skipping along the pavement, looking every inch the perfect Dorothy Gale ...

May 04, 2021

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The Question: “What will I do when I lose my friends once I stop dr...

  Thomas asks, “What will I do when I lose my friends once I stop drinking alcohol?&r...

Apr 26, 2021

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Emotions & Self-Awareness

As a drinker, I had limited self-awareness. If the reverse were true, I would not have been a d...

Apr 22, 2021

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Sunk Costs

At times during the end of my railway career, I felt like a leper. When I walked into a room, p...

Apr 21, 2021

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It Has Gone Wayward, Again

  You wake up in the morning feeling unmotivated. Something's not quite right. You have che...

Apr 07, 2021

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Finding A Deeper Meaning And Purpose Through Helping Others

During our darkest times,  we struggle to find meaning in our existence. And every day, we...

Apr 06, 2021

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Myself In The Mirror

Look at yourself in the mirror.  Reflect on your image.  What do you see?  Do...

Apr 02, 2021

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Chasing Rainbows And Unicorns

Chasing rainbows and unicorns is a child’s dream.  You know unicorns are pretty des...

Apr 01, 2021

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Becoming A Diamond

“Diamonds are made under pressure,” says Caroline Buchanan. And you’ve probab...

Mar 31, 2021

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The Small Things

Now that you’ve courageously accepted perfectionism as a hindrance to your progression, i...

Mar 23, 2021

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An Invisible Problem

We all have to be drunk in something to get us going in life--be it alcohol, gambling, work, th...

Mar 23, 2021

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First Step of Letting Go of Perfectionism

It started like this: you had the idea of being detached from the habit you are genuinely aware...

Mar 23, 2021

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Internal Pressure

Sometimes, even if you attempt to change, there will always be that immense feeling of relievin...

Mar 23, 2021

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The Awareness Trap

You just want control of yourself again, and having this little conversation with yourself isn&...

Mar 23, 2021

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Who is Pressuring You to Drink Alcohol?

Sometimes, even if you try to genuinely change, there will always be that immense feeling of re...

Mar 16, 2021

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Selfish

Selfish How different would life be if we took the view that everyone came out of the womb des...

Mar 12, 2021

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Kids

It's my turn to take Zia to bed, and as is standard, she wants her Mum. Immediately, she trigg...

Mar 11, 2021

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Alienation

  Thomas feels like an outsider in his family home. The children don't bother him, and hi...

Mar 10, 2021

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Who Am I?

“Who Am I?”   In creating his psychosocial integration theory, psychologist,...

Mar 08, 2021

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Irony

I recently joined an online course and had to introduce myself. I told the group I helpe...

Mar 06, 2021

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Life Sucks

You can inhale the perfume of a red rose, or you can burn it. Life’s what you make it. ...

Mar 05, 2021

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The Cleaner

Johann Hari told Sam Harris that Gallup revealed approx. 80% of Americans didn’t like t...

Mar 04, 2021

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Cake

I have never baked a cake. Baking a cake = hard work. I don’t eat cake these ...

Mar 02, 2021

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In It

Laurie is a 1000 Days Sober coach.I remember she once posted this in the forum. "Here in thi...

Mar 01, 2021

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Exhaustion

Another fantastic poem by Rupi Kaur in her collection The Sun and Her Flowers."This place mak...

Feb 05, 2021

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Craters

Connor has a hole in his heart.    It hasn’t stopped him turning into a c...

Feb 04, 2021

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Judgments

My sweaty back itches against the roughed up wood of the garage door. The sun is tickling m...

Feb 03, 2021

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Twelve

As I listen to Walk Like an Egyptian by The Bangles, I crack my knuckles, romanticise about...

Feb 02, 2021

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The Lock-Up

  I have ‘stuff’ in a lock-up in Cardiff. It could go the way of Notre Dame...

Jan 11, 2021

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The Leaky Tap

I heard the sound of running water gushing from the tap behind me.   I shook my...

Jan 11, 2021

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Not Skid Row

The day I led Jude through Skid Row was not an auspicious moment. I heard his mother screaming ...

Jan 11, 2021

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The Toothbrush

      How could I forget to brush my teeth? I'm 45. I think? Maybe that...

Jan 06, 2021

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Perspective

  There’s an air of desperation when it comes to mulling over a period before tak...

Jan 02, 2021

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Traffic Lights

  A woman with three children stands at the edge of the kerb. The light is red. For a s...

Dec 21, 2020

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The Arena

  “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man s...

Dec 12, 2020

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Enabling

There's a scene in the 'Queen's Gambit,' where Beth and her stepmother, Alma, are in a hotel ro...

Dec 02, 2020

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Without awareness, there is no free choice

I played football on Sunday mornings and then went to the pub to drink all day, before stumblin...

Oct 13, 2020

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Failure

The STRIVE Method: Failure Over the next few months, you will receive a series of articles sha...

Oct 12, 2020

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Harry The Hummingbird

The STRIVE Method: Harry The Hummingbird Over the next few months, you will receive a series o...

Oct 06, 2020

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Reality

I planned to spend time with my cousin on Friday night; then on Saturday, he would drive me into ...

Sep 24, 2020

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Greyscale

  Game of Thrones fans will remember Ser Jorah Mormont picking up a greyscale infection...

Sep 09, 2020

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A Resistance Reversal

The universe is vast, and somewhere, deep inside, you’ll find a Dry Martini with a Tw...

Sep 03, 2020

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Alcoholism is an Invisible, Violent and Dominant Belief System

    In 1946, E. M. Jellinik, the man credited with naming Alcoholism as a disease, ...

Sep 02, 2020

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The Suffering Choice

  Two people, working for the same company, lose their job on the same day. It’s an u...

Aug 15, 2020

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The Bell and the Blackbird

I’m on the phone to Jude telling him that my life is shifting in ways that I can’t ...

Aug 12, 2020

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Finishing Things

  Neil Gaiman’s Masterclass on creative writing is brilliant, and one of the thin...

Jul 27, 2020

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Learn to Value Yourself

  "Let alcohol in, and often, procrastination follows. If you want to shut the door, then l...

Jul 22, 2020

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The Fire

I sit on the tube imagining a bomb exploding. Reaper-like flames claw at my Zia. A fingerna...

Jul 16, 2020

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Sugar-Free Poison

I’m in the lift in the ARIA Resort in Las Vegas.    Two guys join me, both dr...

Jul 13, 2020

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Nickel The Pig

  Nickel is a ceramic pig. Zia dropped him a few times (not the smartest gift for a 3-ye...

Jul 13, 2020

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Expectations

I get it.   Lowering your expectations is a cracking way to mitigate the failure fall.&n...

Jul 07, 2020

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The Gods

  I used to love visiting restaurants. Today, it's excruciating. I catch myself forcing my ...

Jul 06, 2020

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Prosperity

Something has clicked.  It's clicked before.  It will click again.  While it's ...

Jul 06, 2020

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The Only Way Out is Through

After a bike ride that’s taken him less than four hours to travel 50-miles, Tony wonder...

Jul 18, 2019

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